the Bachelor 2010, episode 1

I saw the Bachelor tonight on hulu; here are my thoughts, in their chronological order:

1. Most of the girls are 25, and so am I, but why do they look so much older? This makes no sense. Fuck.
2. There is a certain charm belonging to a Texas boy, too bad they are somewhat racist.
3. The first 15 girls are all white, overwhelmingly blond. Are you fucking kidding me? I wonder if Jake (the Bachelor) specifically prefaced that.
4. Oh, there is an Asian girl, she spoke Cambodian to Jake (the bachelor) even though he obviously could not understand. What the fuck? Why is there always an Asian girl (and only 1) among a group of white people?
5. I am extremely annoyed by all the girls, and I am aware that they are flirting. Maybe I should learn to flirt.
6. I have once again confirmed my belief that MOST white girls have no personality.
7. Jake’s top 3 priorities: God Family Friends. What happened to world peace?
8. I wish the Asian girl could stop speaking Cambodian… he clearly doesn’t understand. The Cambodian phrased turned out to be an R-rated joke. Oh God. Asian+Sex, not a good stereotype.
9. The TN woman just confessed she has a 7-yr-old son. Good for her.
11. a PhD just dressed up as a sexy co-pilot. Good for her.
12. the Nanny just confessed she’s an extremely competitive person. Question: why the hell are you still a nanny?
13. Football game: blonds vs. brunettes. The Brunettes killed it. Good for them
14. Why is everyone laughing like there is no tomorrow?
15. A girl is having a mental breakdown. She is the crazy bitch you should stay away from! Of course, she’s from Orange County!
16. “What if I send the love of my life home?” – people, please, there is such a thing as “destined”, if you send someone home she is clearly NOT the love of your life.

Personally I want the Manhattan girl to win, because God knows it’s impossible to find a good guy here. But I think blond college admission girl is going to win, you know, the one who was a virgin until she was married and then divorced. Guys love that.

the Twilight Obsession

I have a secret I should admit: I am way beyond teenage puberty, but I am also obsessed with Twilight.

Call me emotionally immature, but there is a reason this sappy romance novel stroke the cords of countless teenagers (and their mothers).  To those who don’t understand why Twilight has gotten so much attention, and to those who don’t understand why they can’t take their mind off of Edward Cullen, let me introduce…

Top 5 reasons why Twilight is OMG AWESOME:

5.  It’s the classic forbidden love story, torn between, literarily: love and death, sex and kill.  That fine line is blurred to the extreme, and we love walking on it. 

4.  It’s about that girl we can identify with: the girl who thinks she is not pretty enough, who hates playing the manipulative, complicated games of human interaction.  She is simple, unpretentious, sarcastic, and quite lonely, until her other half arrives.  We like Bella, because we are Bella in one way or another, except still waiting for love.

3.  It’s about that perfect boy who is great at everything – who is fancied by all but only loves his one and only.  It is about a guy with a tortured soul, a guy who struggled for us and would sacrifice anything for us. Too bad Edward Cullen doesn’t exist in this time and age, because hot looking guys are all jaded. 

2.  Robert Pattinson may not be a gentleman, per se, but he is certainly Edward Cullen in many ways, which is why Twilight has gotten so much more attention – any other guy would not have hyped this film up as much as he did.  For one, he is not jaded – the guy cracks jokes and constantly talks about how he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he is never that hot guy in school, and he hasn’t gone on dates for awhile.  It is difficult to believe that a guy as handsome as Robert Pattinson would have trouble with girls… but whether or not he is being truthful or just playing the part, it is working, it is getting teenage girls more excited than ever before to listen to this equally tortured artist talking about his oh-so-tortured life. Oh the irony.

1.  Stephanie Meyer is no JK Rowling, and truth be told, I didn’t really like the 3 books after Twilight, and I believe subsequent sequels of Twilight will not be as big as this one.  But Twilight is one of a kind.  I remember the first time reading Twilight, I truly felt as if I were Bella, getting excited, upset and confused as she delicately explores the world of Edward Cullen.  Twilight touched my nerve.

So there you go: love it, hate it, Twilight is HOT. 

 

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Sexiness without the nudity is even sexier

Why is Google’s Android Phone Hot (or not)?

Google and T-Mobile has teamed up to produce G1, a phone that runs on Android: it went on sale today.

Android is (1) a software platform (not a mobile device like the iPhone) based on Linux and (2) has open-source coding.

What does this mean? It means that anyone can alter this mobile device’s operating system to fit their need (assuming they know the underlying language of Android, which is similar to Java).  It also means that random people can start developing programs to produce shortcuts or new features that make the Android operating platform better or different, whatever the consumers want.

Android came from a company called Android, Inc., which Google acquired in 2005.  Since then, speculations have been flying high on how Google wants to enter the mobile phone market to compete with the iPhone.  Google has installed this one of a kind software on a one of a kind phone: T Mobile’s G1. But it is assumed that G1 will not be the only phone to have Android as its operating system.

The success of Android depends not only on the application itself, but also the phone itself.  That is because users’ purchasing decisions rest on a seamless integration of the device itself (physical feel and touch, size, color) and the operating that runs within (user-friendly, multifunctional, internet speed, applications offered)

Mobile phones are not only communication devices, but cheap-versions of computers that conduct financial transactions (from transferring money, investing in stocks, to trading goodies); such functions are highly utilized in developing countries.  Imagine this: an Nigerian and a Chinese business man meeting in the Sahara Dessert, finally agreeing on a shipment of goods to arrive in China in 3 weeks: the Nigerian man calls his cell phone and dials a transfer, the Chinese man sees on his that the money has been deposited into his bank account.  Using cell phones to conduct business is now commonplace in places that lack expensive infrastructure.  Android will certainly play a role.

Imagine my aunt: on a dirty train in a hot summer day, looking at her cell phone and realizing that a stock in Shanghai just dropped.  She does a few clicks and buys it for the good opportunity.  Android will certainly play a role here as well.

Android’s impact is not only sales, but it has the potential to change the entire landscape of our cell Mobile Phone Market – what a phone is, and what a phone does.  Get excited.

Halle Berry Teaching Girls about Life

Halle Berry, at 40 years old just after having a baby, is named the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire Magazine

This woman of color who after 2 failed marriages, many untrustworthy men messing with her self-esteem, has finally figured out the finer details of womanhood: the happiness out of owning yourself.  For girls who are still trying to figure out what she wants, what should she want, and what can she get… here’s what Halle will tell you:

1.  Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being.

2.  Sexiness is about loving yourself even in your most unlovable moments.

3.  Sexiness is also about knowing what’s sexy to you.  To Halle, spaghetti is sexy, especially when it’s served off the tips of a man’s fingers.  Wine is also sexy, just before sex.

4.  Lingerie is sexy, but the truth is, every woman should own at least one good pair of pumps and a tank.  A tank top and pumps: you’re good to go then.

5.  What else? Ah, yes: the big O. You know that stuff they say about a woman being responsible for her own orgasms? That’s all true. And in Halle’s case, that makes her responsible for pretty damned good orgasms these days. Much better orgasms than when she was twenty-two. And she wouldn’t let a man control that. Not anymore. Now she’d invite him to participate.  Halle’ll tell you this: she has learned her tricks.  She knows what she likes.  She does not wait around.  She initiates.  And She’s not all about frequency.  She favors intensity.

Film Review: Religulous

Lask week I saw Bill Maher’s “Religulous,” a documentary about people believing in the silliest things that make up religion.

Bill Maher never found why people hold unshakable faith in “facts” that are “obviously” inconclusive: like Noah’s Arc or Jesus’s Resurrection.  Why do they “just know?”  He questions why doubts and reasons never seem to be able to creep into those that believe in God, why pupils of religion hold the kind of absolute obedience similar to kings and queens of the past, toward systems of beliefs that are just plain ludicrous.

Not having a religion is a privilege: if you’re in a prison and God is all you got, then both Bill and I agree – it’s understandable for you to be religious.

What Bill fails to realize is that the privileged can also be hallow on the inside.  You can be endowed with wealth but be completely uncertain in life.  Bill Maher seems to imply, that the privileged who have fervent beliefs are simply too lazy or too weak to think for themselves.  I tend to agree, because to accept not knowing is really a lot more difficult than to accept a simple (but probably wrong) answer to the greatest questions of life.

But I also agree that there is nothing wrong with being lazy and weak, we are human beings.  We are selfish and maybe being happy requires us to just choose ignorance over “the Greater Good.”

When the fundamentals of our existence become meaningless, that is hard to ignore, let alone accept.  I wish I can argue that I am the strong and brave type that choose to not sink into religious fever, but I have to admit that I am not happy, not happy because I cannot rest on simple answers when I know they are wrong.  The agnostics, as well call ourselves, are like the majority of people in New York City – pissed off and perpetually discontent, loving and enjoying life but somehow unfilled underneath it all.  I hope I can at least believe that this is okay.

Fervently religious people are happy; their mind may be clouded, in denial, but they are content.  They may curse at other people or treat them out of God’s kindness, either way – they are happy.  This void in our mind of “I don’t know” sometimes renders the world a little like New York City – bitter, lonely, and cold – because that’s how people are when they don’t know.

My mother became a Christian a few years ago, since then she has become much more calm – she no longer yells at me or gets crazy or hormonal.  I don’t agree with her views, but I think “God” or her relationship with this possibly nonexistent being has made her relationship with me better.  I don’t care if God really exists, if this thing makes my mother easier to deal with, I’ll let it pass.