Why I Live in NYC

20 Reasons why I have come to love NYC:

1. I sit next to bankers, homeless men, fresh immigrants, tourists, hipsters, rabbis, and yet discovered artists on any subway ride from Manhattan to Brooklyn. We sit skin touching skin, we check each other out, we make eye contacts and pretend we didn’t make them, very occasionally, we converse.
2. I spend summer days on Coney Island’s Brighton Beach, chilling next to Russian men wearing nothing but a speedo. Then, I buy some bread from their women and finish off my day with dinner at the best Uyghur restaurant in America.
3. There are 10 different cuisines within a 2 block radius of my apartment, in addition to a gym, a grocery store, a park, a dentist, a farmer’s market, and the most cozy free-wifi coffee shop directly below my apartment with plenty of seats and free wi-fi.
4. Almost everyone here has some sort of a serious relationship problem, those who don’t are quickly on their way out of the city.
5. When I don’t have money for therapy, I ask my friend what her therapist says and apply that advice to my own life.
6. I get drunk, a lot, and it’s considered okay, in fact, I know many with a much worse case of alcohol problem.
7. I no longer miss China the way I missed China when I lived in Texas.
8. Midtown and the Financial District, during lunch and rush hour – sexy stilettos and handsome suits, strutting and zigzagging their way to lunch (probably from hell). “hey guys, we’re all fucked.”
9. I have seen a dog being pushed in a dog stroller, too many whores and materialistic assholes to count, a park filled with only white children and black nannies that made me question if I’m back to the slave era, the most disappointing revelation, the most surprising kindness – these days it takes more than a shock to raise my eyebrows.
10. I go to supposedly the hottest club in town, I join the supposedly most exclusive membership, and realize, it’s never as good as it’s cracked up to be. And life, thus, becomes much more simple.
11. Subway > Car
12. Going to gym/yoga/running is like going to the bathroom, it’s second nature.
12. The guys in NYC drive me crazy, the masochistic side of me approves this.
13. The best food (and there are thousands) from around the world are all under $10.
14. There is a kind of energy this city is built upon, part hunger, part desperation, part hope, and part dream. I feed off of that energy, and I dream my dreams.
15. Operas, ballets, musicals and plays. Some free, some discounted, and some, well-worth breaking the wallet.
16. New York Craiglist’s postings are always funnier than other city’s postings.
17. www.overheardinnewyork.com helps with my self-esteem
18. It’s easy to get a hook up, if I ever decide to get one.
19. Volunteering in the city, you either help someone in desperate need (there are too many of them) or at the least, you meet someone compassionate, which is not to take for granted.
20. When I get depressed, which is, quite often, there are plenty of things I can attempt to do to distract me from depression.

Eatery – Italian – Frankies 17

Frankies 17 is my favorite Italian restaurant situated in my favorite neighborhood, the Lower East Side.

It is your quintessential casual Italian eatery, but don’t think street corner pizza or greasy meatball casual -think elegant cafe on a cobbled stoned street in Rome.

The restaurant is decadent with small chairs and tables (seats only 27 people), the atmosphere is simple and dim and the the room is always packed but never obnoxiously so. The bartender and waitress usually give intelligent recommendations.

Frankies 17 has got a creative menu of great and surprisingly healthy choices – from sweet potato stuffed raviolo in parmesan soup, a prosciutto and cheese sampler , grilled vegetable salad, hearty spicy sausage pasta, to the most interesting dessert made of plum.

The icing on the cake is that they’ve got a great selection of affordable wine – about 70 from the list. I enjoyed my $45/bottle red so much that I actually copied down the name and intend on buying it later for myself.

If you want to spend $50 (wine, appetizer/dessert, and entree) but feel like you ate a $100 dinner – come to Frankies.

Frankies 17:

17 Clinton Street
New York, NY 10002
(212) 253-2303

Changing the World in New York

My nonprofit friend working in the inner city of another city is visiting.  I don’t remember the last time having such great conversations with another person. I want her (and other great friends away from New York) to move here, because I tell her Brooklyn apartments are cheaper now and wouldn’t it be great if all of us could get together like this and have house parties sipping wine and eating cheese and continuing these conversations, forever? I also tell her New York is messed up, there’re plenty of problems for her to solve.

I am doing this because I am selfish: I miss people outside of corproate America. But I know you couldn’t survive on $30K/year in New York. You could, but your life would suck. You wouldn’t be happy, becuase this city has too many models pumping up the fashion curve and nobody feels great wearing only Old Navy.

Then we meet an alumni on the train (this is why New York is random) and she tells us she knows how we (more specifically my friend) feel. She was once a nonprofit worker, too. But now she’s married rich, and that, apparently, is the only way to combine the best of two worlds: to save the world while living it large.

Money may not be as important in other cities, but it is in New York. Those who tell you money is not important in New York are old new yorkers with real estate inheritance from parents or rent controlled apartments. Because you cannot possibly have a life living in a closet with roaches and rats. I see hipsters in Williamsburg who devote their lives to music liviging in beautiful lofts, then I find out their parents are hedge fund owners from Connecticut.

Saving the world is extremely tough because you don’t ever make money and most of the times you feel like you are not making any real changes. Even Obama became a community organizer because his grandmother paid for his Ivy League tuition from Columbia and other expenses along the way, and things are a lot cheaper back then anyways.

Eatery – Midtown Espresso – Fika

It is hard to find a place in midtown that’s neither corporate nor insanely expensive, and, also not a Starbucks. Fika is one of the rare, a small espresso bar two blocks from Central Park.

Fika is authentically Swedish; it claims to sell the best tasting coffee in NYC. I am no expert on coffee but their latte is honestly the best I’ve ever had, at a price for Starbucks to beat. Their coffee is only $2, I am really impressed.

Fika also offers a menu of food items, from chocolate balls (my favorite $2 dessert) to entrees under $15 that range from sandwiches to meatballs to chicken salads, all Swedish style of course.

I usually just go for a cup of coffee plus a chocolate ball (covered with fresh coconut). It’s really a delicious afternoon snack. Fika alao has free wifi and model-looking waitresses – well, they are Swedish, so they are tall, skinny and blond.

Too bad the place closes as early as 7pm. And the other draw back is that they really need to rethink about building the decor: everything is on a stool and sort of steel-like. I know Swedish people are tall but it is very uncomfortable having to sit high up there all the time. The place is also tiny but not in an inviting way: most people just stand around and leave after they get their drink. Considering the fact that this country invented Ikea, I am disappointed they are not making this place a little bit more homey. At least they got the food part correct.

41 W 58th St
(between Avenue Of The Americas & Grand Army Plz)
New York, NY 10019
(212) 832-0022
www.fikanyc.com

Eatery – Lower East Side – Balthazar

I ate here once after a co-worker’s recommended it as a good French eatery, without knowing this place is a hot spot in the City. It’s been around for ages, it is huge (cocky enough to assume packed diners at all time), and apparently – the food is legend.

I went to the restaurant without any preconceived notions but still thoroughly enjoyed my order – my appetizer, also my first time trying snails (although I am allergic to shell fish, snails gave me no reactions), was a juicy flavor soaked in garlic and olive oil. It was a bit difficult to take the meat out of the shell, but the effort enhanced our temptation and prolonged our satisfaction afterward. My medium-rare bar steak was equally fantastic, not as pristine as a $60 order from Smith & Wollensky, but the best steak I’ve had under $25.

Then I read that Balthazar is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s 24 favorite restuarants in New York City, and because I value Gwyn’s sense of style, Balthazar came under my radar.

And today I read from my all-time favorite food blogger SmittenKitchen that a dish from Balthazar was so good it made her no longer vegetarian, and this is when I realized: I need to go back, despite this recession.

Classic is perhaps an appropriate descriptioin at last

Balthazar

80 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012

212-965-1414 (reservations)

Us accomplished young people: we should really just f*ck life

Invest in real estate. Have children. Contribute to your 401K. 

 

Shop at Bloomingdale’s. Cab it home.

 

Get a boyfriend. Get a hairstylist. Get dinner in Gramercy. Get a hip apartment. Get cool friends.

 

Attend Ivy League parties. Wear lip gloss over lipstick. Purchase expensive shoes. Perform eye lash extension. Maintain perfect skin.

 

Be cute. Be sweet. Be nice. Be positive. Be optimistic. Be innocent. Be every girl’s best friend. 

 

Run once every two days. Starve every other day.

 

Avoid red meat. Avoid trans fat. Avoid white bread. Avoid people with no ambitions. Avoid the sun. Avoid beer with calories. Avoid any bad hair day. Avoid taxes and politics. Avoid getting drunk, avoid looking sober. Avoid eye contact with ugly men. 

 

Choose to live appropriately without a fight, until the day you die.

 

Choose Life

 

You are right, I am wrong. I am right, you are left

Get out of town if you ever want to get married – the Myth of “Sex and the City”

I love Sex and the City the show, but I hate Sex and the City the ending. Virtually every girl I’ve talked to in recent years moved to New York because Carrie Bradshaw ended up with Mr. Big.

There is a unrealistic expectation that in this land of plenty men, an independent woman can and will finally get all that she’s ever dreamed of: fabulous cloth, lucrative career, beautiful friendship, and the perfect no-BS guy.

I hate to be so damn pessimistic, but think twice about finding the perfect no-BS guy here. Sex and the City is a TV show,  but New York City is the real deal. And by real deal, here’s what I mean:

1. In New York City, there are a quarter of a million more single women than single men, that’s right, a quarter of a million surplus of single women. In fact, New York City has the highest number of single women over single men, more than anywhere else in this coutry. If you want to find a boyfriend, statistically speaking, move to the West Coast, or at least consider Dallas, Denver, or Minneapolis.

2. If you are a pretty looking girl, you might get yourself a hot guy in a “regular city” – think Bella Swan in Twilight and her sudden popularity after moving from Phoenix to a stupid depressing town in Washington State. New York City is the fashion and financial capital – so females of New York – waitresses, models, artists, dancers, actresses, musicians, advertising managers, public relations specialists, or management consultants – are all fashionably well informed and smart. In other words, you have to be a pretty amazing girl to even get a sub-par regular guy here, given the amount of competition. This just goes against nature, in my opinion.

3. I’ll admit there are exceptions, but in general perhaps the most wonderful or sickening (depending on how you look at life) part about New York is that once a girl stays here for a certain period of time, her insanity becomes reality, she lets go of her rules and becomes, for a lack of better term, crazy. Time Out New York did a survey on 50 single women in New York – you might think the article is half-witty and half-interesting, but at a certain point especially when you become one of them, the article just sounds half-depressing and half-superficial.

What are you looking for in life? If it somehow involves a marriage, leave.

On a related note, I cannot emphasize how incredibly luck New York men are, what Southern beauty (and I’m actually from the South)?

Favorite Blogs for a City Girl

Forget reading magazines and newspapers written by supposedly “important” people, read blogs written by trendy people!

Blogs is the new media of information provider – it’s easy to access, to the point, and of course free of charge.

Trying to survive in a big crazy city? Let me introduce some of my favorite blogs that has kept me going through it all:

Blog of Penelope Trunk: [Career Blog] What would I do without Penelope’s advice on salary negotiation, remaining my old self in corporate America, and combining work and life? This is by far, the best career blog for young person!

Zen Habits: [Life Improvement Blog] Life is complicated, and Leo lets me know that it is okay if I can just dump all that noise, that I can do it if I focus on what’s important, that the problems don’t have to be there, that sometimes simple advices works over complex formulas, that when we let go, good things come back to us. His blog makes me happy, gives me hope!

Smitten Kitchen: [Food Blog] The Mac n’ Cheese I used from Smitten Kitchen for Thanksgiving was a huge hit, and it was super easy to make! I like the fact that this blog has plenty of pictures, that although it’s a recipe blog, it has other cooking-related stories, and that it’s got plenty of desserts on top of a variety of cuisines, and that there are some seriously unique stuff!

Apartment Therapy: [Interior Decorating] I just like looking at all the elegant ways other people decorate their homes, many tinier than mine, while dreaming about one day doing the same.

Omiru: [Fashion] Really, I have never once bought something suggested from Omiru, but this site really serves two other purposes: (1) to let you know that fashion does not mean overly expensive items – this advice I’ve gladly taken up and (2) to inform you that you should dress according to your style, be it height, weight, or the appropriate situation!

Friendship guide for girls

A girl’s worth comes down to confidence and beauty.

Beauty is inherited but can be manipulated left and right – you either look effortlessly beautiful or look like you try too hard.  You want to go with the former no matter what you’re born with.

Confidence is a product of growth and childhood experiences, in essence our perception of beauty.  Our confidence can jump up and down because our perception of reality changes.

In the realm of friendships, I prefer girls who are either in quadrant II or IV.

Because insecure girls makes me sad.  Those who in quadrant I wants to make everyone around them depressed, they suck all the positive energy out from around them.  They complain and refuse to accept change, they stay in the mind set of hopelessness and will want to make you feel the same.

Girls in quadrant III are dangerous.  These girls will try to sabotage you at every moment in order to feel good through your misfortune, they are also less dependable as friends since the whole premises of their friendship is based on them outshining you – because that’s the only way that insecurity hole.

Confidence makes you more approachable and less threatening.  (Note: those who act threatening through confidence are deeply insecure and are either in denial or hiding behind their solemn veil)

Girls in quadrant II and IV will feel insecure, but the foundation of who they are, their worth, and the choices they are willing or not willing to sacrifice will never change.  These girls are who I want to be friends with: those in quadrant II are loyal friends who will not get jealous by your beauty, and those in quadrant IV will not make you feel inferior through their beauty.

This city feeds into your insecurities and makes you feel inferior – it’s been hard for me to find confident girls.  (Another note: confident girls will not be manipulative bitches, if a girl is a manipulative bitch, you can be sure that she is deeply insecure within).

And thus I continue my journey to find confident girls…

Eatery – Flushing – Little Fat Lamb Hot Pot

I don’t say the word “love” lightly but I love hot pot.

If you don’t know what hot pot is, check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_pot

I use to think at some point in my life, I need to move back to [Northern] China in order to boil goodies in spicy broth during every weekend of a cold winter day, until I discovered Xiao Fei Yang in Flushing.  Since then, I have been wondering whether it’s possible that New York might actually become a semi-permanent home.

This restaurant fulfilled my long-deprived indulgence.  Granted, I spent $20-$30 per visit, but I’ll gladly chuck out cash for this over 3 glasses of beer any day.

To start out: the soup base is strong enough for both the spicy and nonspicy, they put in garlics, scallions, dates, wolfberries and dozens of other real ingrendients (not powder, but herbal), allowing the flavors to exuberate fresh authenticity. I always get a mixed pot of both spicyand nonspicy, and I drink the nonspicy base as soup afterwards, it looks white, maybe it’s got milk in it?

Then there’s the sauce bar with choices including black vinegar, sesame base, jiu cai hua (not going to translate), sesame oil, and ten-something others.

The menu is just as multifarious: from sheep intenstines to a whole variety of fish balls and tofu stuff. My favorite, lamb, is always delicious.

This place gets crowded on weekends, I had to wait 45 minutes on a Saturday to get a table for 2.  But I also enjoyed their flat screens with Chinese music.  The owner seems to have an addiction for Frank Sinatr sang by an old Taiwanese talk show host.  This place also serves Lamb Skewers, but I recommend you buying these outside of the restaurant from street vendors. Oh, and of course tea comes free of charge!

Address:

36-35 Main St

Queens, NY 11354,

718-358-6667 (call to reserve!)

dip, eat.