I am pretty sure I am in a depression.
I cry about once a day, when I come home from work, late at night. I watch videos until 3am to numb myself, then I get up right before work. I spend $9 and take a cab to work almost everyday, because I am always running late and there isn’t enough coffee to wake me up, nor enough makeup to cover my sad face.
I am agitated at work, and my co-workers notice it. Thank God I have a few close ones who don’t judge.
I have ended all conversations with my family, because I am slowly trying to realize how not to get myself emotionally abused. My mother is thrusting her needs onto me, by demanding that I become happy. I am too distrustful of my dad to communicate with him without feeling like I will get manipulated.
I am realizing what a emotionally abusive household I grew up in, and how much damage it has done to me.
But I think realization and acceptance are the first steps toward any recovery.
