I have no goals in life, because I don’t know what they should be. And I’m not going to force myself to make up goals just so I could say I have some.
I did not declare a major until I was forced to do so second semester of my junior year in college and I’m still on this elusive quest today in search for the purpose of my life.
I am comfortable with not knowing; not knowing has taken me to places and fields I would have otherwise never gone to. And I suppose one day I will know what I want in life, and maybe that day will never come. Either way, I am content with exploring the possibilities for now. Wait, I’m actually not content at all. Oh well.
Everybody wants to know what I want to do with my life, because that defines who you are and people get uncomfortable when they can’t define you, because then they can’t act accordingly. Everyone from career counselors to bosses to mothers to guys I’m dating ask me, “where do you see yourself in five years?” And my answer is always, “I don’t know.” This answer instantly downgrades me, because it scares them. It scares them more than it scares me.
Books talk about the fact that you can’t succeed unless you have goals first or that you can’t be happy unless you know what makes you happy. Having a direction, an vision, or a dream have always been a key motivator to those who accomplish great things in life. But I disagree: I am going to make up dreams as dreams come along and decide on my path when cross roads meet my eyes. I am not going going to decide anytime before then.
So not having goals makes me sound like a lazy person with no ambition. And it supposedly also makes me depressed. In reality, however, not having goals is freeing. Responsibilities is not always a good thing. Having children is not always a good thing. Getting married is not always a good thing.
And that is fine. I do what I need to do today, and if I have time, I’ll think about what tomorrow entails.
My goal in life is to find out what my goal in life should be.
Hi, You seem like a really smart person. I’m going through what you appear to be going through, perhaps that is why I came across this page when I was searching Google for clarity and right vision
I was thinking about the dreams I have, and then I thought about how I’m either excited or afraid of them. I never seem to accept them with purity. What I mean to say is, acting out of excitement and fear towards my dreams I always make choices that lead to disappointment. Anyways, everyday is good, so I’m happy for now.
But after reading what you have written, I notice the similarity of your view point with mine, and I have come to feel this way only because I feel there is something I am holding back or deviating from. I can’t get my self to realize I’m the only one getting in the way. But at the same time, through the grace of another, I’v been provided with this wisdom, which makes things even more complicated. For 25 years, I’v been open to life and allowing new objects, friends, experiences, beliefs, etc to come my way. I interact and engage with them with love and devotion but I lack that feeling of bliss, gratuity, and liberation that I believe can only exist if I was living my dream and not anyone else. (e.g do i really care for these people, do they really care for me? or are we just impressed by some aspect of each other, or do we share similar likes and dislikes and nothing beyond that…, do i really like this music or this food or this job?) This entire expanse can sometimes seem so simple and at other times so complicated that laughing and crying seem like our two best friends during the entire journey.
Anyways, I don’t know why I wrote this. I love to come across other people who live real lives and I’m glad I came across this page. I know there are so many of us who are not lost but yet we are engrossed. At least I am….
If you found what I wrote interesting, reply back, it would be nice to get some feedback.
Hi Someone No One,
Great comment. I think you have skillfully conveyed a very complex topic: the struggle to find how we can be comfortable in our own skin (who we are, what we do, why we are doing this, etc.)
I personally think reaching for a dream is sometimes easier than just knowing with a jolt of certainty what my dream is (not to be confused with what my dream should be).
Do you make choices that lead to disappointment because you failed in your dreams, or because the end result of reaching the dream is not what you expected it to be?
You are not the only one searching for clarity. The wordpress tracking device tells me many people come to this page after searching on Google “having no goals in life.” Clearly, we are not the only two going through an existential crisis.
I think most people are lost, they just won’t admit they are lost. =)
Does not having goals mean we are admitting we are lost? I like to use more of a happy scale to navigate life, i.e. Does this make me more happy or less happy? Will atempting this add to my enjoyment or cause me distress? I do find I have more of a long term outlook for the happy scale than in my younger years. I worry more of my integrity than I do my goals. That is something that I believe satisfies me and take me further in life.
Personally I have interests in lots of things, and they change weekly. Do I want to have a defined set of goals if I am chasing a different dream next week? I like to blame career test from when I was in high school. What good is a test that tells you that you can become what ever you want?
Be proud of the places that no goals have taken you and enjoy knowing things that others are puzzed by. Maybe we should set a goal of not having goals and then everyone can be happy?
With that being said, I found this place looking for a way to activate the goals “module” in my brain, but instead, greatfully, I found that I am not the only one.
The problem with goals and success is that success is governed by perspective. Mostly in modern US society success is defined by a dollar sign and multiples of zero.
There are some however who see success as a road from within stretching out into the universe and completing itself back within. Like a fishing boat lowers it nets and returns to harbor with its catch we as humans sail the high seas of life and return to harbor with our experiences. Money as it turns out is a very poor catch indeed.
The truth is that if a goal does not cause your heart to soar it is a chore and not a desirable outcome.
Also it is worth noting that when one focuses on a specific outcome it tends to blind us to all the other great outcomes that are available. We have become a blind race burdened by an ideal of success that is anything but real. We are after all at our core potential.
My feeling is that when Im 90 years old and looking back on my life, it will be about three things. Who I loved and cared about, who shared their love and care with me and what I did to help other people on this planet in even the smallest of ways. Money and material things are completely irrelevant. Did I accomplish this goal or that goal, completely irrelevant. Ive met the poorest of people with absolutely no goals who are happier than middle class and wealthy people who have goals or achieved many of their goals, go figure.
I cant believe this world! I think that anyone who can “advise” me on what I’m doing wrong is a liar! Nobody knows what we are supposed to do here! if they claim that they have the answer, that is only more reason to stay away!!!! we (even the oldest of us at 100 years) are so young and cannot possibly have an understanding of life or the other forces that be. The people who are apparently doing everything “right” are probably doing some form of corporate grind that allows them to make a lot of money. The only way they can make a lot of money is by screwing someone over. I saw that in every job i’ve ever had. To make the big (successful) amounts of money you need to screw people. I’m not listening to any of those people on what they think I need to do in this life! Think of this: for the doctor that makes 200k a year there are millions who cant afford health insurance! his salary is a part of that equation, maby not a huge part, but still a part. Is he doing a good thing?? live is just messed up. do whatever you can to make the best of it. If it is passion for a sport… go do it. if it is getting a huge house… go for it. if it is doing drugs and drinking… go for it. Do what ever makes you smile, even for a minute, cause we don’t live long! someone that knows everything can reply and tell me how much they know about life that they are wise/smart, whatever. after all they lived for 50 years already! wow!