Favorite Blogs for a City Girl

Forget reading magazines and newspapers written by supposedly “important” people, read blogs written by trendy people!

Blogs is the new media of information provider – it’s easy to access, to the point, and of course free of charge.

Trying to survive in a big crazy city? Let me introduce some of my favorite blogs that has kept me going through it all:

Blog of Penelope Trunk: [Career Blog] What would I do without Penelope’s advice on salary negotiation, remaining my old self in corporate America, and combining work and life? This is by far, the best career blog for young person!

Zen Habits: [Life Improvement Blog] Life is complicated, and Leo lets me know that it is okay if I can just dump all that noise, that I can do it if I focus on what’s important, that the problems don’t have to be there, that sometimes simple advices works over complex formulas, that when we let go, good things come back to us. His blog makes me happy, gives me hope!

Smitten Kitchen: [Food Blog] The Mac n’ Cheese I used from Smitten Kitchen for Thanksgiving was a huge hit, and it was super easy to make! I like the fact that this blog has plenty of pictures, that although it’s a recipe blog, it has other cooking-related stories, and that it’s got plenty of desserts on top of a variety of cuisines, and that there are some seriously unique stuff!

Apartment Therapy: [Interior Decorating] I just like looking at all the elegant ways other people decorate their homes, many tinier than mine, while dreaming about one day doing the same.

Omiru: [Fashion] Really, I have never once bought something suggested from Omiru, but this site really serves two other purposes: (1) to let you know that fashion does not mean overly expensive items – this advice I’ve gladly taken up and (2) to inform you that you should dress according to your style, be it height, weight, or the appropriate situation!

Christ-Mas and my Mother

My mother became a Christian five years ago after I went away to college.

One summer I came back from college and saw a Bible on our desk and thought, “that’s interesting, what is a Bible doing in our household?” That was the beginning and end to thinking that mother has turned Christian. We never discussed the fact that she is now a Christian, and pretended that everything didn’t change. I just avoided calling her on Sunday mornings because I know I won’t find her picking up the phone.

My mother has always been a spiritual person searching for something out there. She was a pseudo-Buddhist, as in she periodically visited monks and nuns to wish our family peace. She practiced Tai Chi and meditated during hot summer days when she felt restless. But apparently none of those soul searching attempts really worked, until she found God. 

Nowadays, she reads the Bible on a daily basis and attends the Church every Sunday. She has a close group of Church friends and they get together on a periodic basis talking about missions to various places around the world.

She is happier and no longer as moody as she was before, but I’m not sure if that’s a result of her turning to God, or just her getting over the menopause. 

I hate holidays, especially Christmas. They hold no meanings for me and only bring unfond memories of eating dinner in my grandmother’s house full of relatives who would one way or another make my dad get angry at me. 

I forgave my father and his years of unjust treatment of his daughter, because nobody is perfect and I don’t expect him to be a perfect father. And while I have issues with religion and people who devote their hearts and souls into something they call faith but really can just be nonsense, I am happy for my mother’s choice, as long as it stays personal.

So during this unspecial Christmas, and really – whatever others celebrate, I am going to come to terms with my imperfect past, imperfect present, and keep working at it in making the future a better one the best I can.

Ah, to be wealthy AND creative!

I’ve viewed my life in limbo – I’m at the cash-making period via the semi-lucrative corporate job therefore everything cannot be possibly interesting.

I imagine that my “sexy life” will start when I attempt riskier things: inventing a brand, writing stories, baking fusion cookies… I gave myself excuses after excuses and say when the loans get paid off, life starts!

But life happens – despite my excuses – I am a twenty-something with this incredible fear that I will die getting older without EVER experiencing anything meaningful.  I am deathly afraid of becoming the Ivan Ilyich.

Then I read a presentation on “How to be Creative,” it made me think about creativity in a whole different light.

Creativity is really about I don’t care what you think – you the media the mother or the best-friend. It’s about taking time out of your day to listen to that voice in your heart. It’s about ignoring purpose or productivity.

Well, that sounds simple; but really, it’s rather difficult because we have been trained to be productive, to think about consequences and advantages of everything we do, to evaluate costs and benefits.

Creativity is illogical and unstructured, and we probably will not know where we are going until we get there. But out of creativity, hopefully something meaningful – perhaps not significant, but meaningful to you alone, nevertheless.

Having meaning – it is a journey worthy of every fear and doubt – something inherently your own, and therefore inspirational.

I have been inspired by Mariah Carey, Barack Obama, and countless individuals in my life and on the blogsphere. It’s time for me to get inspired by that little voice inside my heart.

What I learned from my first job change

I am about to switch jobs – I just accepted an offer and told everyone at my current job my intention to leave.  It’s terrifying and grieving: I’ve never really done this before.

This is my first job switch since coming into the real world a year and half ago.  But change is good, and even before my start of a job that has yet to prove horrifying or satisfactory, I’ve already learned so much…

1.  Don’t be Afraid to Negotiate Salaries, especially if you’re a Girl. 

I was terrified before calling my new boss back to tell him that his offer letter is not good enough: I need a bigger bonus and more vacation time.  And without hesitation, he accepted my counteroffers.  As a woman in business, I have to constantly remind myself that I am worth the money and probably worth more than the money.  I am smart and I work very hard. But years of insecurities have taught me to believe that I’m only lucky to have a job and that being greedy is wrong, that I should be humble, that asking for too much is going to have karma kicking me on the ass. Men do it without the slightest hesitation, and I am doing it like it’s a big deal. 

2.  Tell your old boss your intention to quite first, don’t let him hear this from lower-downs.

I told my immediate bosses before anyone else, even HR.  I told them the reasons of my leave and asked them what I should do next.  It is important because HR won’t have my back, they do all things procedural, and your buddies at the firm certainly won’t let you leave with any problems either way.  You want to leave with your bosses’ contact info, so you can keep in touch with them once in awhile, because who knows? You guys might meet again somewhere down the line!

3.  Tell your co-workers you’re going to miss them, have goodbye dinners, get drunk for the last time, write sentimental farewell messages, and have sex with that guy/girl you always wanted to have sex with.

You’re going to be missed more than you think you are going to be missed.  And you are going to miss your coworkers more than you think you are going to miss them.  So here is the dilemma of life: that when you have them, you never appreciate them.  I never thought my coworkers are anything close to permanent friendship until I told everyone I’m leaving.  All of a sudden, these people I’ve worked with for the past 18 months made me realize that for better or for worse, they have been such a part of my life, a part of how I’ve changed and twisted, a part of my memory I will treasure forever.  And then – they don’t seem so bad after all.  Lastly, I want to say that while I am too much of a coward to actually do this, I want to encourage others to have sex with that dude or girl you always wanted to, but are either too professional or chicken to do.  I’ll just live vicariously through you, then. 

4.  Now that you are no longer “coworkers” with your equal-level coworkers, you can really start working on becoming real friends with them.

Let’s face it: coworkers can never be real friends: too much competition and there’s a hidden level of professionalism involved.  But you have been so close already working together hours at a time, and now finally you are free from all the boundaries of professionalism, you can start pouring hearts and souls out, without ANY reservations.  Yes – any reservations.  Now that you are no longer a coworkers, DUMP those you have always disliked but nevertheless need to be close to, and make sure you let others you LIKE know that you intend on hanging out with them for weekends at a time.  Be open, be honest, and start retaining REAL friendships

Start of a terrifying new job

You know, I was all terrified about starting this new job, but writing the title word “terrifying” all of a sudden put this in perspective: a new job is hardly “terror.”  

I wrote before that I need a new job, not because I wanted something else specific, but because I don’t know what I want and I want to continue the search rather than staying at the same place knowing it’s a doom.  

I was lucky enough to have been interviewed by a firm that I thought, hey – is different.  I don’t have the offer letter in my hand (so I’m not sure how much more I’m getting paid), and I can’t be sure that I am leaving a good job for a better one.  But the good job is driving me psychotic- because while my favorite career blogger Penelope Trunk keeps saying that mentor matters more than the company, I know first hand that being surrounded by good people but doing boring work is just not enough.  

My current coworkers (both senior to me, so they are more like mentors) selflessly taught me, pushed me, and provided honest feedbacks that are more valuable than gold.  They are the ones that brought home the message to me that you don’t have to sabotage and compete fiercely in order to win.  The idea that “cut-throat” or “kill or be killed” is the only solution obviously has not stepped into our current world – the Obama world – where caring for each other, promoting the growth of others, being who we are, accepting differences complexities and mistakes, are true winnings and ultimately will come back to benefit you.  

Needlessly to say, I don’t know if I’ll never find such nurturing coworkers elsewhere.  I’m not going to bank on this new work environment, which seems more male-centric and “corporate”, but I’m not going to give up based on presumptions.  

I believe that you can find connections anywhere.  There are assholes out there, but those are 1 out of a bunch and as long as I can spot out the sane ones – I am going to make strong connections and open doors.

Recession, what recession?

Quarter Life Crisis? Run the Marathon

This post on Zen Habits says positive public pressure is a good motivator – so I admit: I’m training for the 2009 NYC Marathon.

A Marathon in Nov of 2009 might be a long way off, but I’m the least sporty person of anyone I know, this decision to run 25 miles all at once isn’t easy.  Pulling off a Marathon will be an unbelievable accomplishment for me, and trying to reach there will be even tougher.

I want to run the Marathon because I’m turning 25.  My quarter-life-crisis screams two opposing views, that life has been difficult and I have successfully survived puberty with a bachelor’s diploma in hand, and that I have accomplished nothing – nothing that moved me and changed me and conquered my presumptions.

I’m not sure if I’m a product of triumph or failure, and what priorities mean to me.  Running probably won’t help me solve this on-going identity crisis, but at least it’s something to do.  Life happens. 

Before I turn 25, there are many things I need to do, one of them is running the marathon.  

I am going to run about 2-3 miles per day for 3 weeks straight, giving myself only 2 days of rest per week max.  After that, I’ll update with another post.  Running 2 miles per day is no easy task for me, it is extremely difficult to accomplish, perhaps more mental than physical.  We’ll see.